23

23

Sometimes I wonder what I did to lose you, then I remember I’m the first woman you’ve ever fucked without a condom and you won’t ever trust or love anyone as much as you trusted or loved me. I didn’t lose you. You’ll be back. 

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A wise friend once told me, patience is a virtue.

You were right.

So I’ll wait for you.

Seconds, minutes, hours. Days, months, weeks and years.

I’ll wait.

Don’t worry, my love, I am not actively awaiting your return.

You would not want that, and I am tired of being sad.

Just know, I’ll always be yours.

I am sprung on you, my love, and I do need you back.

Just not today.

And probably not tomorrow.

But I’ll be waiting, sweetness.

Yours truly,

Audisho

Hate 

Hate 

I hate you, and I hate being alive. I hate that you make me hate being alive. I hate everything about you. I hate how you make me feel. I hate that you are gone. I hate your smile. I hate your friends. I hate that I can not make you happy anymore. I hate your front of disinterest. I hate your reserved demeanor. I hate that I am not over you. I hate your happiness. I hate that I doubt that you are really happy but will never ask. I hate that it has been a month without speaking. I hate being weak. I hate you for making me feel weak. FUCK YOU. 

Nightmare

Nightmare

You were in my dream last night.

I vaguely remember where we were.

You sat on a lime green salon chair.

I have never been here before.

You look handsome per usual.

I do not know remember why we were together.

You were evil.

I sit in your lap.

We kiss.

You push me off into the next chair.

I cry.

“You are too much for me,” you say.

I sit in your lap.

We kiss.

You push me off into the next chair.

I cry.

“You are too much for me,” you say.

I sit in your lap.

We repeated over and over until I woke up.

I am subconsciously plaguing myself with a symbol of our relationship.

You were in my nightmare last night.

 

 

Missing

Missing

How did we get lost?

I miss you.

The love we made, laughs we had, thoughts we shared, and highs we experimented with.

I miss it all.

I need you.

Your kind nature, ritualistic behavior, reserved conscious, and patient demeanor.

I need it all.

“Hello 911, what’s your emergency?”

“Hi, I’d like to file a missing persons report.”