I hate you, and I hate being alive. I hate that you make me hate being alive. I hate everything about you. I hate how you make me feel. I hate that you are gone. I hate your smile. I hate your friends. I hate that I can not make you happy anymore. I hate your front of disinterest. I hate your reserved demeanor. I hate that I am not over you. I hate your happiness. I hate that I doubt that you are really happy but will never ask. I hate that it has been a month without speaking. I hate being weak. I hate you for making me feel weak. FUCK YOU.
My to-do list spans 90 miles long, but I only have two things I regard with urgency: fucking and dying. Can I kill two birds with one stone? Slit my throat while I ride. Make me cum in a bath of my own blood. Fuck me raw while I bleed out. Death is on the forefront, but I’m smiling as this pretty pink pussy is full.
Dousing myself in gasoline, lighting the match, and crying “it’s lit”
I seriously want to fuck until I die. I could be having sex inside of the explosion of the sun and my focus would be on cumming and not dying.
In my ideal death, I will be a martyr for all hoes. Hoe in this context is not one to be seen as negative, but as a neutral term simply referring to those who engage in frivolous sexual activity or promiscuous behavior. Therefore, any negative connotation previously attached to the word hoe or attached to the view of sexual expression or said promiscuous behavior must be dismissed.
Continuing on with the thought of my ideal death, I will pursue my martyrdom. In the ideal death, I find myself surrounded by all the men of my past: ex boyfriends, ex boos, ex hookups, ex flings, etc. However, they are taking part in a distinct act which is viewed as relatively taboo—a circle jerk. While the men of my past all surround me in a communal act of masturbation, I sit in the center shrouded by white. Donning a sheer white veil and white teddy, I rest as they proceed. Upon climax, the men release cum on me masturbating endlessly until I am drowned in their ejaculate. My death is ultimately the result and I rise to the after life in a glow of liberation.