Every Monday morning, I pray you have a good week
Every evening, I pray you fall in to a sound sleep
Every Friday, I pray your weekend will be safe
Every Sunday, I pray you are in a peaceful place
And sometimes, when I’m feeling selfish, I pray you will be mine again
An atheist caught in a cycle of prayer.
I hate you. You tricked me. You made me believe love is real. Now I am here all alone. Where did you go? Why did you do this to me? I just wanted to treat you so nicely. I just wanted to make you feel special. You made me feel so special. Why did you leave me? I never let myself get vulnerable. I opened up to you. I am a fool. Why is this so easy for you? You never loved me. Why? Why doesn’t anyone love me? I just want to feel special. You made me feel special. Come back to me. I am sobbing and rage typing. You’re out boating with your boys. How did this happen? How did I let this happen? I was strong. I was independent. I was confident. You’re gone and all of that has followed. Give it back!!!!! You can’t steal it from me! Why did you steal my sunshine?! Take your cloud. I do not want your darkness. How the fuck did I let this happen? I am sitting here sobbing and all I can think about is how I just wish I had you. I am so angry, but if you want me back, I will accept. I will happily bound into your arms once more. How did you gain this control over me? You don’t even want it. You don’t even want me anymore. But you have me. You have all the control. Come in and knock my lights out, I’ll still love you. Just come back for me. Why did you pretend? Why didn’t you let me stay happy? I wish I never met you. You stole my happiness. You fucking thieving asshole. I miss you so motherfucking much. I miss your kindness. I miss your intelligence. I miss your emotional insecurity and immaturity. I miss your hands and your hugs and your smile. You always know what to say. Why can’t you say it now? Say you want me back. I want you back. I will beg on my knees for you, and I am not even on your mind. How sad is that? Is this love? Because I swear to God, this is love. It sucks so badly. Why? Is there happiness? Can love and happiness coexist? If so, where can I find it? You have stolen everything! My love and my happiness! That’s all I wanted. You were my first love and my heart is broken and you do not care. Why did I let myself love you? I knew it was a mistake. I knew it. I let it happen anyways. I hoped you were riding my wave. You were not. This is fucking awful and pitiful. I want to scream your name from the rooftops and then jump. Why? HOW DID YOU DO THIS TO ME? Maybe you’re a witch. I bet you are. I am so cursed. Fuck you.
Your love is like a rose.
Stunning red petals.
Sweet enticing scent.
Painfully gorgeous adorned with thorns.
Despite the blood you draw, I always return to pick your fragrant flowers.
Your thorns slice my skin, but your roots run rampant in my veins.
What I would do to have a bouquet of your flowers adorning every surface of my home.
What I would do to spend my days forever lying on a bed of roses.
What I would do to forever relish in your aroma and admire your oh so bittersweet beauty.
As your petals fall, so do my tears, but I will forever stumble to the garden to harvest your love.